My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
