she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
