Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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