I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
