Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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