PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
