you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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