i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
