I hope mine doesn't look like that
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
