this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
