The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
