Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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