If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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