matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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