Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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