Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
