Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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