If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
People in love make me want to vomit
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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