Apparently you make a good broom.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
