We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
