Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
