Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
