Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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