Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
