____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
