I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Drunk is not a location!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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