How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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