the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
