omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
