I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
