i permit you to call me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
