you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
