I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
