Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
