His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
