Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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