We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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