whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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