: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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