McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Text me some of your sweat
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
