i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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