how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
