You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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