I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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