the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
