Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
