2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
