So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
