I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
