You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
