It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just high enough for therapy.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
