Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you had me at cake vodka
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
